Ethos

The Line Leader

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 10:36:26 -0400

There’s a very simple and easy to implement reward / motivator technique which I use at every game, the line leader for the post-game handshake. This reward, surprisingly or not, serves as a real motivator for the kids. Kids have fun and smile when they play a game. Give them or show them what they can be proud of and the smile becomes a huge grin.

Before each game starts, I give an overall objective I’m looking for to the kids and explain that the position of line leader will be awarded to a team member whom I see exemplify that quality. I use objectives that can be explained in less than thirty seconds, so things don’t get complicated.

The goal needs to be something attainable by every kid on the team, and the goal needs to be subjective and based on effort more than a quantifiable goal. I most often use sportsmanship or hustle; with older kids I’ll add in more quantifiable things like passing etc., but it still needs to be something every kid has a shot at.

Awarding the line leader position based on things like goals scored, tackles, etc. keeps it out of reach for many kids, but basing it on things like helping a downed player up, checking to see if someone is ok, or for pure down-the-field hustle keeps it attainable and the kids always seem to be enthusiastic about trying to achieve it. More importantly at the end of the game, the “winner” has something that he can be really proud of. Before announcing who the winner is I always make a point of telling all the kids how proud I am of what they did out there, how proud they should be of themselves, and I use examples of what they did well. Every player gets ice-cream, but only one gets the cherry.

I also keep a note of every line leader as the season progresses so I can make sure every kid wins the position at least once (when math allows) and that no kid gets it more than once. Keeping a note of the award, and mentioning it in my weekly emails to my team’s parents also helps get them on board with our team’s overall objectives, keeping the experience about effort, attitude and fun, rather than scoring goals and winning.

Assigning Positions

Fri, 9 Oct 2009 07:29:49 -0400

When it comes to youth recreational soccer, far more is to be gained by having players try, and spend a fair amount of time in various positions than is to be gained by typecasting players into what seems like their strongest positions now. Why not play them in their strong positions now? Because we aren’t teaching youth soccer with winning as our primary goal; we are teaching it to maximize the soccer skills and life lessons the kids get out of the game. By focusing on and assigning positions based on skills with an end goal of winning, we have to sacrifice more than winning is worth: our players’ skill development.

Even if a team has a great goalie in U10 soccer (which is only likely because his coordination is maturing at a faster rate than his friends) it’s in that team’s best interests and in all the kids’ best interests for all the kids to play goalie. Every kid should play the goalie position and no kid should have played twice before every kid on the team has had a shot at it. All players should be encouraged to give it a shot at least once and they should get some decent time in the position. Most teams seem to be playing a single goalie per half of the game. That's great! Given a nine week season that will ensure every kid plays the position at least once. The same goes for offense and defense. The kids need to try and play all the positions on a regular basis.

As per above, we aren't positioning players strategically with the end goal of winning. Every kid needs a shot at goalie, even if it means losing a game. We teach soccer skills and life-lessons first, winning second. Additionally, players need the opportunity to try every position out there. It's too early to typecast players into offense, defense or goalie. The more positions they play, the more well-rounded their skills will be and the more perspective they will have on where they need to be at any given time. As Len says, let the field be their teacher.

The Bench

Thu, 8 Oct 2009 18:52:02 -0400

Youth soccer is not the World Cup or professional soccer. The reality is that nothing is riding on winning. Will a kid remember in a month if they lost a particular game? Nope. Will a kid remember if she played or sat the bench for the majority of the game? Absolutely.

In youth soccer, particularly in rec (recreational) leagues, as coaches we have an obligation to make sure that all kids are getting equal playing time. What does it accomplish to field only the strongest players, in their strongest positions so that we might maximize the team’s chance of winning? Nothing. And the opportunity cost of putting weaker players on the bench is high: a player’s development in the game and a player’s sense of self worth. Is a winning record worth that?

How many games you win or lose isn’t an issue. You won’t become a world cup coach working with youngsters because you went 7 and 1 and in the end you will have left kids on the sideline, literally and figuratively. What is an issue is the potential impact you can have on young lives. Should you damage them or empower them?

Kids are not dumb and neither are their parents. When we give them only token time on the field, subbing them in just before halftime both will notice. Again, the cost is high. For a slightly better chance strategically, we have drained the player’s emotional tank. Parents will also notice this and it’s a sure fire way to create discord in a team.

Only with equal time on the field is there equal opportunity for skill development; equal opportunity for the field and the game to be their teacher.

The only way to match skills of a child with his enthusiasm is to get him on the field.

Eye Contact

Sat, 12 Sep 2009 19:54:16 -0400

Ever feel like when you’re talking to your athletes, you aren’t quite fully connecting with them? Perhaps that they might feel like they’re being talked down to? Literally? Do you remember what it was like to be shorter than practically everyone you seemed to encounter?

In the skiing world, the Professional Ski Instructors of America and ski racing coaches play very close attention to the models and types of learners. Skiing, like golf and many other sports is a very kinetic and movement-specific sport requiring very finite motor control and things that can be tough to teach at 30 mph. As a result the instructors pay attention to very small details when it comes to interacting with their students, clients, etc. We can share something from those lessons.

One common theme to making an instructor-student relationship is eye contact. You certainly tell your kids to look someone in the eye when speaking or shaking hands, but when you’re interacting with kids on a soccer field, are you really looking at them, and they at you? Experienced ski instructors and racing coaches routinely remove eye wear or goggles so the students can see you in the eye, especially when making an important point. I have found great success with similar measures in working on the soccer field with young athletes. A few tips:

First, kneel down so you are on eye level with the kid. Being eye to eye with the kids literally levels the playing field form the athlete’s perspective. You aren’t an adult telling them what to do, but a person interested in what they have to say and interested in helping them become better players. After seven knee procedures I can’t kneel on the sidelines for an hour straight and suspect most of us cannot, but the point still stands. When my athletes come off the field, or I want to talk with them on the sideline I try to do it at their eye level as much as possible.

Second, ditch the shades. Let the kids see your eyes and your facial expressions. So much of interpersonal communication happens without words on the subconscious level. Let the kids see your face. Let them look you eye to eye. Let them see the happiness in your face at how well they did; smile. Kids can easily tell when the difference in a compliment when someone means it or they don’t. Be enthusiastic in your praise for them in a way they can clearly get.

It’s a small and seemingly insignificant but easy step to take with them so that you can help them become better players, athletes, and so that they can walk away from the field head held high regardless of the score.

Athlete Goal Worksheet

Sun, 3 May 2009 12:48:31 -0400

The following goal worksheet and info are designed for more mature athletes, typically 14 years old and above.

What are goals? The purpose toward which an endeavor is directed; an objective.

Why set a goal? Having goals helps us direct our training; it helps us with mental
rewards and shows us specific milestones in our training. When you reach a benchmark you
can be proud of the work it took to get there. Setting goals helps us identify how our training is
progressing and when we need to make changes to our training.

Why have more than one? To have only an end goal can be overwhelming. To
simply have a goal of making the US Soccer Team or the World Cup is overwhelming when considering everything that must be accomplished to reach it. When we have shorter term and intermediate goals we can gauge our successes, make adjustments to training and keep our attention and focus on the present where they can be most useful. Goals should be refined and reviewed on a regular basis throughout training.

Why put them on paper? Nearly all successful athletes do this. Writing goals down
provides a way to focus energy and the paper can serve as a physical reminder of what we
want to accomplish and what we need to do to accomplish it. By having the goals on paper we
have a way to review progress and make adjustments. Successful athletes constantly review
their goal sheets and compare them to training logs and competition results, and constantly
analyze, tweak and refine training as necessary to make sure training and progress toward the
goal is on track and schedule.

Why are they backwards? When we start at where we would like to end up, it’s
easier to build the goals and recognize the steps we need to make to achieve those goals.

What are requirements? These are the specific things that are required to make the
goal happen. For example, if you want to make the Olympic Team, you need to know how the
team is chosen. Only after you know how it’s chosen can you figure out what you need to do to
get there (steps).

What are steps? Steps are the actions you take to move toward your goals, whether
they are short term, intermediate or long-term goals.

EXAMPLE
ATHLETE NAME: Joe Godosoccer
DATE: 1/8/07

WISH: Make the US World Cup Team
Requirements: I probably need to play on a strong division 1 college team.
Steps: I have no idea
What is it: This dream goal is what you’d like to achieve if all your other goals
happen. It’s where you’d love to be if everything works perfectly. It should be lofty, but it
doesn’t have to be to compete in the Olympics. It could be to play soccer on a Division II college team. It’s simply what you’d like to get out of soccer if everything you do works out and all your
effort pays off.

LONG TERM: Play Division 1 soccer
Requirements: Work hard, train hard, study hard.
Steps: Make the divisional team and get invited to elite events and development camps
What is it: It should be attainable with very hard work.

SEASONAL: Make a U9 travel team
Requirements: Play well in tryouts and demonstrate solid skills and excellent conditioning levels.*
Steps: I need to be ready to perform and well prepared before I get there. I need
my regular season games to go well and show consistent skill improvement. I should probably
have several games where I score at least two goals. I need to make every training session, ready to perform. I need to stop forgetting a piece of my gear (maybe I should use a list when I pack it).
What is it: This is the goal that you want to accomplish by the end of this season. It
should be attainable.

SESSION: Work on my weak side shot.
Requirements: none
Steps: listen to coach, ask for feedback if I am shooting inaccurately when we are
doing drills and really think about it, ask for some extra drills I can do to help my ball strike.

*the requirements are not actual requirements as defined by USYS.

SAMPLE GOAL WORKSHEET:
goals.pdf

The Value of Communication

Mon, 20 Apr 2009 20:37:17 -0400

Let’s face it. There are a whole bunch of problems we can run into at a soccer game, and there is a common solution to nearly all of them: an open communication line with your partner coach on the other team and an attitude in which coaches deal with issues quickly before they become problems.

scenario:
the scoring imbalance
Team A is overpowering Team B. Team B coach is getting frustrated because Team A coach isn’t apparently following the Three Goal Rule. Eventually, after seeing his team get scored on again for the umpteenth time, Coach B yells across the field to Coach A. Coach A can’t quite hear it and yells something back. Next thing we know the two coaches are yelling at each other in the middle of the field.

If Team B had communicated their concerns they might have learned that Team A was already trying to take steps, and if ineffective, they can both work together for a viable solution.

scenario:
the fouling player
Player on Team A is constantly tripping kids on Team B, not out of malice or intent, but because he’s in the middle of a growth spurt and not quite as coordinated as he was last season. After his fourth player is tripped and the game has its first injury Coach B starts yelling at Coach A from across the field.

If Team B and Team A were communicating they would be able to share that it was a a case of a gawky kid, and not intentional, and B parents might not be so upset to learn that the other kid isn’t trying to cheat or hurt their kids.

scenario:
the obnoxious grand parent
Team A is taking a whooping to the point that Team B begins making sidelines jokes about the quality of Team A loud enough for everyone to hear.

If Team A spoke with Team B coach, he could ask him to quiet his parents down by explaining that it’s a child’s soccer match not an NFL game, and failing that he will bring the matter up with Stoddert.

scenario:
the name calling kid
Kid on team A is constantly throwing the score in the face of the kids on Team B. Eventually Team B kid gets so frustrated he lashes out.

If you hear name calling and other unsportsmanlike behavior let your co-coach know that he needs to have a word with his kid. No one likes to see unsportsmanlike behavior. It’s embarrassing. If you let the coach know it’s happening, odds are good that he’ll correct it.

All of these scenarios can be solved or mitigated by communicating with the coach as soon as the problem begins. Problems aren’t going to go away without input from the coaches, and they’ll often get worse. We’ve all seen them. I frequently tell my parents that in some respects we’re all like kids. None of us is immune from losing control and saying and doing inappropriate things. Hopefully that only happens with adults around, but sometimes it happens on the soccer pitch, too. Let’s face it, emotions can run high. Every single one of us wants to see our kids succeed, play well, and have a good time. When that doesn’t happen because of something like a scenario above we can get mad about it. If we let it continue unaddressed the steam only builds to a bursting point.

The key, in my humble opinion, is don’t be shy. If you perceive a problem, walk calmly around the field, or run if necessary and have a word with the other coach. IF it’s more pressing, call a Time Out and run across the field. Choose your language carefully and don’t be confrontational. Communicate your expectations. If in the end your needs fall on deaf ears all you can do is terminate the game and resume a practice situation and bring the issue to your commissioners. That’s what they are there for and they’ll attempt to get the situation resolved in such a way so that it doesn’t repeat itself. I make it my practice at the start of every game to have my players say hi to the other kids and to meet my co-coach from the other team. I try and set the tone for fun rather than win at all costs.

The Stoddert Three Goal Rule

Tue, 7 Apr 2009 10:08:29 -0400

When a team has taken a lead of more than three goals it must take steps to prevent the game from becoming a blowout. This rule doesn’t teach our kids that winning isn’t important; on the contrary it helps prepare them for it.
This rule isn’t about “trophies for everyone” or other complaints about “everyone’s a winner” from some coaching corners. It’s about teaching the concept of working hard and staying in the game in bite size bits to younger kids. And for those that still think this is too liberal and resulting in today’s inactive, non-competitive kids. Remember it’s the win at all costs attitude that’s been the prevailing attitude in youth coaching forever in the US. That’s the attitude that has caused kids to drop out and be non-competitive and give us a society where only a small number of people continue on with sport into high school.

Jeremy Metz (our former U8 Commissioner) and Len Oliver (Stoddert’s Director of Coaching and Hall of Fame member) crafted a great document, our U5 – U8 Guidelines for Coaches which states: “No lopsided scoring. Teams ahead by three goals or more must stop pressing for goals, players who ignore your instructions in this regard must be immediately rotated off the field.”
Running up the score 15:1 in a Saturday youth recreational game is not acceptable. It’s poor sportsmanship. Our kids can learn the lessons of winning and losing more effectively at this age with small taps than with a hammer. Blowouts only serve to demoralize kids and at the most severe end teach them that soccer is no fun, and their effort to be competitive in the game is in vain. At the farthest end of that spectrum, consider that a season is eight or nine games long. A single horrible experience by a kid can be enough for him to tell mom and dad he doesn’t want to play again next season. Is winning worth that?
By losing in a more evenhanded manner, the kids can learn to stay in the game and keep trying. When they are blown out and dejected it only serves to teach them that at some point it’s not worth trying anymore. When the kids don’t feel that winning is completely out of reach, there is a learned behavior to stay in the fight and keep trying. In the end, that’s one of the great life lessons sport can teach; keep trying. Work, work, work and you have a shot. Give up and you have no shot.
While teaching the lessons of winning and losing are obviously important, at a young age this is trumped by making sure the kids have a positive association with the game and a learned behavior to keep the effort up. The lessons of winning and losing fall more easily on mature kids, not on 5-9 year-olds.
Kids can be taught the “keep fighting” attitude by feeding it to them in small increments. If you want a team of kids that will continue to fight and come back from a big score when they are teenagers and there is a lot on the line, (or symbolically later in life) you have to teach them now. The ability to be mentally tough and stay in the game when losing is no different than the ability to trap a ball well. It’s a skill, built over time and one we have to foster.
Properly implemented this rule will challenge your kids, not limit them. If you’re overpowering a team on a given day and beginning to run up the score, tell your kids that they must make two or three connected passes before shooting, or that they have to shoot only with the weaker foot and failing all those things, that they have to stop shooting. You can also play man down or man up to help address it. If the kids don’t listen, the coach has to pull the offending kid(s) from play. There’s a lesson in that as well; athletes need to listen to the coach.
If I’m getting overwhelmed my first effort is to put an extra kid or two in the game. If I’m on the other side of the problem, my first effort is to require my kids to pass the ball before shooting. If the kids don’t listen, I’ll pull the offending player. If they are listening and we’re still overwhelming I’ll require additional passes and/or play man down.
In the end, the value of a team’s winning by a huge margin isn’t sufficient to offset the potentially substantially detrimental affect it can have on the other kids. Winning is great, but not at that cost.
Good communication between the coaches usually solves this problem. Don’t be shy about it. If you believe things are headed toward a blowout run around the perimeter of the field or wait for halftime and have a brief word with the other coach. If we’re all playing by the same rules the kids end up with a more positive experience. Please also remember not to shout across the field to the other coach.
In the end, if you’re communications with the other coach requesting compliance with this rule are falling on deaf ears, you are free to stop the game and continue by practicing or scrimmaging your own kids against themselves. Please feel free to communicate any issues in this regard to your commissioners.
We should all keep in mind that as coaches we have a duty to all the kids on the field. The teams we play are our partners, not our opponents.

Taking chances

Sun, 15 Mar 2009 11:56:33 -0400

On the soccer pitch, just like in life, those who take chances are those who get to see potential reward. If kids won’t take chances they won’t be rewarded.
The more negative or critical commentary kids hear, the less likely they will be to create situations in which there are risks. In order to score goals, they have to take a chance with a shot. In order to move down the field, they have to risk losing possession via a pass or making a move with the ball. When they fail we have to reward the attempt. The more we only reward a positive end result, the less likely they will be to take a chance in the future. In short we have to reward the attempt, the effort, not the outcome.
We don’t want to create or enforce situations where kids are leery of losing possession of the ball. We don’t want to be critical when kids lose possession because each subsequent time we lessen the likelihood that kids will create the situations where risk is involved and lessen the opportunity for a potential goal to be reached.
The more times the ball is stolen from them the more they learn what might work and what won’t. Losing the ball or a wide shot is not a failure, or even a missed opportunity; it is a learning moment. So let’s hear lots of cheers every time a kid takes a shot or tries to do something, and never “ohhh’s” when the shot goes wide or a kid loses the ball on a breakaway.
As coaches and parents we need to reinforce in our kids that with risk comes reward, and that when that risk doesn’t pay off in a goal or positive results strategically, there is still a positive result for the child. We must use positive reinforcement whenever a kid takes a chance regardless of the outcome.

Real Goal Scoring

Fri, 20 Feb 2009 13:09:09 -0500

Watch what happens when a kid scores a goal. Where does she look? At her teammates, or at mom and dad, maybe the coach? It’s a good barometer of what’s happening out there. We want our kids to look at their teammates first when they score a goal, not us. Our kids want our approval and that can be a great thing, but we as parents and coaches need to be careful in what we reinforce below the surface.

When a kid takes a shot and scores, we cheer spontaneously without even thinking about it, “yeah!” What about when it goes wide, and the spontaneous reaction from the crowd is an “awweee!” What does that tell the kid? What about when a kid makes a pass and there’s nothing but silence in the crowd?

There is no doubt that scoring goals is fun and that being scored upon is not; everyone enjoys winning more than losing. However what we truly want to reinforce with our praise is effort. Effort goals rather than outcome goals yield a more balanced athlete, one who takes pride in the work she’s put out moreso than the outcome. That said, when effort goals are prioritized, positive outcomes are often the case. When a child only receives approval for a positive end result (like scoring a goal), that’s what she will by default determine as the most important, or worse, the only important thing, or as the key to parental approval. It’s easier to keep the kids’ emotional tanks full when we are constantly adding water.

Whenever you see a player out there make a great effort praise her for it. When the only thing we as adults spontaneously and enthusiastically cheer for are the goals, our kids will slowly learn that it’s only the outcome that matters.

A few examples of things that are worthy of cheering other than scoring a goal are:
- a kid busting her butt to get back down field when the other team has a breakaway
- a child making any attempt at a pass
- a child taking a shot, even if it goes wide or is saved
- a kid getting up after taking a big fall.

U5-U8 Guidelines for Parents

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 13:16:36 -0500

Before the season, make sure you child is properly outfitted with cleats that fit, shin guards (worn inside the long socks), and jerseys (worn outside t-shirts and tucked in). Players needing glasses should wear “rec specs.” Players may not wear any form of jewelry outside their jerseys, including bracelets, watches and hair clips (elastic bands are OK). Each player should bring a size 3 ball (marked with her or his name) to every game and practice.

Arrive on time at games and practices. Your coach will tell you what time she would like the kids at the field, which will generally be 5 to 15 minutes before game time. As soon as you arrive, encourage your child to take off dribbling and engaging in soccer play with her teammates until the coach starts the organized warm-ups.

During the game DO NOT SHOUT SPECIFIC INSTRUCTIONS AT THE PLAYERS, INCLUDING AT YOUR OWN CHILD. For example, do not tell your child to run after the ball, get back, shoot, etc. DO enjoy watching the game and cheering on your child’s team. After the game, ask your child “Did you have fun?” or “What did you learn?” and not “Did you win?” or “How many goals did you score?”

Ask your coach or team manager how you can help the team by furnishing snacks, sweeping the field for trash after the game, helping with player rotations, positioning yourself on the sidelines to roll balls back into play, and learning how to be an assistant coach, if you’re so inclined.

We need moms to volunteer as coaches and assistants for practices and helping with player rotations at games.

Foster your child’s love for the Beautiful Game, by taking her to see big kids play (including middle and high school, college, pros). Support DC United and our US national teams in the paper and on TV. Give them jerseys, soccer cards, books, and other fun stuff, and take an interest in soccer yourself.

Keep a soccer ball in each of your cars and one in the backyard. There’s a
direct correlation between players’ development and the number of “touches” they have while they’re growing. Organized soccer supplements “backyard” soccer, it doesn’t replace it. At every opportunity, play with your child yourself: run around dribbling, play little games, test your skills, etc. At the park, encourage your child to play pickup soccer with other kids of like age.

If you have any concerns, including about your own child’s participation in Stoddert soccer, address them with your coach in private, especially by email or phone after the game. Should you have any concern about your coach’s handling of your team or your child, your division’s volunteer commissioners are also available:

U8:
Jeremy Metz, jmetz@clarisse.com, Brad Hinkle, bradjhinkle@aol.com, and Ian Litmans, ianlitmans@verizon.net

U6:
Greg Stohr, gstohr@bloomberg.net and Ian Litmans, ianlitmans@verizon.net

You may also call on DCST’s Director of Coaching, Len Oliver, loliveraso@aol.com, or league administrator, Tom Gross, tomgrossdc@aol.com.

Drafted by Jeremy Metz, U-7 commissioner and Len Oliver, DC Stoddert dir of coaching, v 2.1, Fall 07

U5-U8 Guidelines for Coaches

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 13:11:13 -0500

Before the season, take the required F license course, recruit 1 or 2 assistant coaches and a manager; communicate with your “staff” and parents; attend our division meeting; and volunteer for tasks such as field lining.

Warmup before your game. Your plan should maximize fun and player touches. No lectures, laps, or lines. No demonstrations, diagrams, calisthenics, or running without the ball. Make sure each kid has a ball.

Just before the game greet your opposing coach (think partner) and set the tone for your players with your own friendliness. You may also gather all the kids in the center for quick introductions (each child says his or her name).

During the game watch attentively from the sideline and praise kids as they come off the field after their rotations; STAY OFF THE FIELD DURING PLAY, INSIST THAT YOUR OPPOSING COACH DO LIKEWISE; DO NOT YELL INSTRUCTIONS to the players, e.g. “Dribble,” “Pass,” “Shoot,” “Kick it out,” etc. Be a SILENT presence.

After the game organize your handshake line, have a few nice words with your opposing coach, tell the kids they did great and you’re proud of them. Do not lead 2-4-6-8 or other cheers, hold meetings or lecture the kids.

Respect all of Stoddert’s rules and its policies as established by Stoddert’s director of coaching, including the number of players (4 v 4 through U-7, not more); no “restarts” (through U-7, balls rolling off the field or into a goal are to be immediately rolled—not bounced—back onto the field so that play may resume with minimal interruption); no lopsided scoring (teams ahead by three goals or more must stop pressing for goals, players who ignore your instructions in this regard must be immediately rotated off the field).

Control your parents by insisting that they not yell instructions at the players, including their own children; that they avoid expressing displeasure at the opponents’ play or coaching; that they not put pressure on their own children to perform or to play when they don’t want to. Encourage them to call or email you after the game if they have any concern.

Avoid any dispute with your opposing coach. If an issue arises, e.g. rough play, call a time out and talk with your opposing coach out of earshot of kids and parents. If you believe that a game is getting out of control, you have the option of calling an early
end to the game and resuming practice on one of the two fields. In this event, or if a coach has any other concern with an opponent’s play or conduct, send an email after the game addressed to any or all of your commissioners.

Thank you for all you do. You’re going to have a great time. Your kids and you will look back on the experience as one of the best things you did together.

U8:
Brad Hinkle, bradjhinkle@aol.com, and Ian Litmans, ianlitmans@verizon.net

U6:
Greg Stohr, gstohr@bloomberg.net and Ian Litmans, ianlitmans@verizon.net

You may also call on DCST’s Director of Coaching, Len Oliver, loliveraso@aol.com, or league administrator, Tom Gross, tomgrossdc@aol.com.

Drafted by Jeremy Metz, U-7 commissioner and Len Oliver, DC Stoddert dir of coaching, v 2.1, Fall 07

Teaching Parents the Principles of Peak Performance

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 12:57:20 -0500

more info from the US Ski Team USA Swimming partnership and program, Successful Sports Parenting.

Teaching Parents the Principles of Peak Performance
Dr. Alan Goldberg
© 2006 USA Swimming and The U.S. Ski and Snowboard Association. All Rights Reserved.

http://www.ussa.org/magnoliaPublic/ussa/en/formembers/parents/about.html

Competitive Advantage
Most parents who push, or otherwise interfere with the coaching role, do so because they want their child to perform better. They do not understand that their behavior is performance disruptive for their child. By directly teaching coaches to teach parents the principles of peak performance i.e. those elements that will insure high self-esteem, continued enjoyment or the sport and consistent performance - parents will be better equipped to work with coaches and not sabotage their child.
1. HAVE FUN - Coaches who consistently make the sport fun produce peak performers. When an athlete has fun, he will perform well. Fun will ensure an athlete's motivation and prevent bum-out. When the fun leaves the sport because of parental pressure, the child will become vulnerable to performance problems. A related concept to teach here is the reason a child plays. The child should compete because he wants to for his goals, not for his parents'. Coaches must be encouraged to explain about the negative, de motivating effects of "bribes" or "bonuses" for certain performance goals.
2. BUILD HIGH SELF-ESTEEM - Explain the direct relationship between self-esteem and performance. High self-esteem leads to improved performance while lower self-esteem results in poorer performance. Encourage parents to build self-esteem and not to link a child's self-worth and lovability with how fast he goes or how many games she starts. Encourage parents to "catch their kids doing things right", to focus on the positive.
3. ENCOURAGE A PROCESS FOCUS VS OUTCOME FOCUS - One of the biggest causes of “choking” that parents inadvertently contribute to is encouraging an outcome focus in their children. Pre-game thoughts about scoring, beating someone else, or getting a college scholarship all tend to distract the athlete from the game at hand. Parents would not push the outcome so much if they were aware of its detrimental effects on performance. Help them refocus their comments on enjoying the process of training, competing, and playing.
4. CHALLENGED NOT THREATENED - Parents who threaten and punish children for not doing well need to understand that these behaviors will hurt their child's performance and sense of self. Fear may produce short-term results, but it has serious long-term consequences. Implicit in a threat is the belief that you do not think the child is capable. Implicit in a challenge (there is nothing to lose should you fail) is a positive belief in the player's ability. Educate parents on the performance effects of threats and
how they distract a player’s focus, putting them into the future and out of the game they’re in. Parents should be encouraged not to use guilt, fear or any kind of threat to motivate their children.
5. FREE TO FAIL - Parents need to be taught how to view their child's failure as a positive learning experience rather than as an excuse to demean them. Freedom to fail empowers athletes while the worry of messing up leaves an athlete tied in knots and playing tentatively. Teach parents how to teach this and the other principles by modeling this appropriate behavior. Failure is an opportunity to learn and improve. It is nothing more than feedback and should not have a value judgment placed on it.
6. AUTOMATIC NON-THINKING - In every peak performance an athlete is not thinking. They are unconscious and on autopilot. Their focus is in the experience, i.e. feeling the ground, the motion in their limbs, their rhythm, etc. Thinking slows athletes down. Help parents understand that giving their child something to think about is counter productive. It gets the athlete trying too hard and performing poorly. Teach what pre-game and post-game comments are useful (have fun, relax, you're ready, good job, etc).
7. RELAXED - During a peak performance an athlete is relaxed and focused. Any kind of parental comments/pressure will only interfere with this principle.

© 2006 USA Swimming and The U.S. Ski and Snowboard Association. All Rights Reserved.

Do’s and Don’ts for Sports Parents

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 12:48:36 -0500

more words of wisdom from the US Ski Team - USA Swimming partnership, Successful Sports Parenting. The author of this piece works for the Positive Coaching Alliance, with whom Stoddert soccer recently partnered.

Do's and Don'ts for Sport Parents

Do for Yourself:
• Get vicarious pleasure from your children's participation, but do not become overly ego-involved.
• Try to enjoy yourself at competitions. Your unhappiness can cause your child to feel guilty.
• Look relaxed, calm, positive and energized when watching your child compete. Your attitude influences how your child feels and performs.
• Have a life of your own outside of your child's sports participation.
Do with Other Parents:
• Make friends with other parents at events. Socializing can make the event more fun for you.
• Volunteer as much as you can. Youth sports depend upon the time and energy of involved parents.
• Police your own ranks: Work with other parents to ensure that all parents behave appropriately at practices and competitions.
Do with Coaches:
• Leave the coaching to the coaches.
• Give them any support they need to help them do their jobs better.
• Communicate with them about your child. You can learn about your child from each other.
• Inform them of relevant issues at home that might affect your child at practice.
• Inquire about the progress of your children. You have a right to know.
• Make the coaches your allies.
•
Do for your Children:
• Provide guidance for your children, but do not force or pressure them.
• Assist them in setting realistic goals for participation.
• Emphasize fun, skill development and other benefits of sports participation, e.g., cooperation,
competition, self-discipline, commitment.
• Show interest in their participation: help them get to practice, attend competitions, ask questions.
• Provide a healthy perspective to help children understand success and failure.
• Emphasize and reward effort rather than results.
• Intervene if your child's behavior is unacceptable during practice or competitions.
• Understand that your child may need a break from sports occasionally.
• Give your child some space when need. Part of sports participation involves them figuring things out for themselves.
• Keep a sense of humor. If you are having fun and laughing, so will your child
• Provide regular encouragement.
• Be a healthy role model for your child by being positive and relaxed at competitions and by having
balance in your life.
• GIVE THEM UNCONDITIONAL LOVE: SHOW THEM YOU LOVE THEM WHETHER THEY WIN OR LOSE!!!

Don’t for Yourself:
• Base your self-esteem and ego on the success of your child's sports participation.
• Care too much about how your child performs.
• Lose perspective about the importance of your child's sports participation.

Don’t with Other Parents:
• Make enemies of other parents.
• Talk about others in the sports community. Talk to them. It is more constructive.
Don’t with Coaches:
• Interfere with their coaching during practice or competitions.
• Work at cross purposes with them. Make sure you agree philosophically and practically on why your
child is playing sports and what he or she may get out of sports.
Don’t with Your Children
• Expect your children to get anything more from their sports than a good time, physical fitness, mastery
and love of a lifetime sport and transferable life skills.
• Ignore your child's bad behavior in practice or competitions.
• Ask the child to talk with you immediately after a competition.
• Show negative emotions while watching them perform.
• Make your child feel guilty for the time, energy and money you are spending and the sacrifices you are making.
• Think of your child's sports participation as an investment for which you expect a return.
• Live out your own dreams through your child's sports participation.
• Compare your child's progress with that of other children.
• Badger, harass, use sarcasm, threaten or use fear to motivate your child. It only demeans them and causes them to dislike you.
• Expect anything from your child except their best effort.
• EVER DO ANYTHING THAT WILL CAUSE THEM TO THINK LESS OF THEMSELVES OR OF YOU!

You can help your child become a strong competitor by...
• Emphasizing and rewarding effort rather than outcome.
• Understanding that your child may need a break from sports occasionally.
• Encouraging and guiding your child, not forcing or pressuring them to compete.
• Emphasizing the importance of learning and transferring life skills such as hard work,
• Self-discipline, teamwork, and commitment.
• Emphasizing the importance of having fun, learning new skills, and developing skills.
• Showing interest in their participation in sports, asking questions.
• Giving your child some space when needed. Allow children to figure things out for themselves.
• Keeping a sense of humor. If you are having fun, so will your child.
• Giving unconditional love and support to your child, regardless of the outcome of the day's competition.
• Enjoying yourself at competitions. Make friends with other parents, socialize, and have fun.
• Looking relaxed, calm, and positive when watching your child compete.
• Realizing that your attitude and behaviors influences your child's performance.
• Having a balanced life of your own outside sports.
Don’t . .
• Think of your child's sport participation as an investment for which you want a return.
• Live out your dreams through your child.
• Do anything that will cause your child to be embarrassed.
• Feel that you need to motivate your child. This is the child's and coach's responsibility.
• Ignore your child's behavior when it is inappropriate, deal with it constructively so that it does not happen again.
• Compare your child's performance to that of other children.
• Show negative emotions while you are watching your child at a competition.
• Expect your child to talk with you when they are upset. Give them some time.
• Base your self-esteem on the success of your child's sport participation.
• Care too much about how your child performs.
• Make enemies with other children's parents or the coach.
• Interfere, in any way, with coaching during competition or practice.
• Try to coach your child. Leave this to the coach.

Stress Relievers for Parents with Children in Sports
• Laugh. Go to a funny movie or do something silly with a friend.
• Take a 10 minute break and walk around the block.
• Light a candle and take a bubble bath in the dark.
• Do nothing. . . and don't feel guilty about it!
• Pay off your credit cards.
• Turn off the T.V.
• Read a book or magazine.
• Read a classic book as a family.
• Make time for a hobby or activity you really love.
• Meet a good friend for coffee.
• Write your child's coach a note of thanks.
• Smile at someone.
• Sit outside on a warm summer night and watch the stars come out.
• Concede that you don't have to be proven right every time.
• As a family get involved with a project that helps someone less fortunate.
• Set up a carpool schedule for your kids activities so you don't spend your life in the car.
• Set aside a day with no outside activities scheduled.
• Go to the church or synagogue of your choice.
• Schedule a meeting with your child's coach to discuss her progress and establish agreed upon goals.
• Avoid initiating or participating in the gym gossip.

© 2006 USA Swimming and The U.S. Ski and Snowboard Association. All Rights Reserved.

About the Author:
Michael A. Taylor an Instructor for the Stanford
University based Positive Coaching Alliance, a long-time member of the United States Elite Coaches Association
and a former gym owner.

10 Commandments for Sports Parents

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 12:41:03 -0500

The following commandments/list was put together in a partnership by USA Swimming and The US Ski Team as part of their program called “Successful Sports Parenting.”

This is common sense, but it’s nevertheless worth thinking about...

10 Commandments for Sport Parents
I. Thou shall not impose thy ambitions on they child.
II. Thou shall be supportive no matter what.
III. Thou shall not coach thy child.
IV. Thou shall only have positive things to say at a competition.
V. Thou shall acknowledge thy child’s fears.
VI. Thou shall not criticize the officials.
VII. Thou shall honor thy child’s coach.
VIII. Thou shall be loyal and supportive of thy team.
IX. Thy child shall have goals besides winning.
X. Thou shall not expect thy child to become an Olympian.

The Emotional Tank

Sat, 10 Jan 2009 16:35:44 -0500

Let’s keep the emotional tank filed. What is the emotional tank? Generally speaking the emotional tank is a general state of being of the athlete at a particular moment. Sometimes the tank is half full, and when it is it’s hard to stay focused and succeed. When the tank is full, she feels like she can take on the world, that she can’t miss.

As coaches, we want to keep the athletes’ tanks full to every extent possible. It doesn’t mean we blow sunshine or don’t acknowledge errors. It does mean we don’t get emotional about them, over emphasize them, or make the athlete feel like she’s failed. It does mean we choose language carefully, that we compliment what’s going on that’s good, rather than just point out what’s not. We try to compliment the athlete and build her confidence by constantly and regularly reinforcing the good things. When mistakes happen, we acknowledge them and move on. One of the best ways to keep the tank full is through lots of positive reinforcement.

As coaches we should make it a point, not just to be able to assess the tank by what we observe, but also to ask the athletes regularly where their tank is. They need to asses it as well. When the tank is low, we try to fill it and we adjust our expectations. When the tank is full, we try to keep it there because athletes that have full tanks will perform at their best.

Flushing Errors

Fri, 9 Jan 2009 16:31:30 -0500

Error flushing is a physical technique used to help athletes move past a problem, error or mistake and stay in the moment. Athletes can’t succeed when they’re dwelling on mistakes they’ve made, regardless of whether they’re strategical or technical errors. Athletes succeed when they stay in the moment, and focus on what needs to be done at that particular time to get to certain goal.

So what’s the flush? The flush is a ritual technique you’ll see at all levels of the game. Rituals help athletes stay focused. Some are bizarre, but the reality is that they work. Rituals can be anything from clicking ski poles after entering the starting gate, to bouncing a basketball exactly three times before shooting a foul throw, to a quarterback touching his face mask before he readies for the snap.

When an athlete makes an error, she’ll perform a simple ritual like pretending to flush the toilet, or dusting off the shoulder. These techniques, when performed consistently, become a ritual. The ritual allows the athlete to clear the error and move past it. Dwelling on missing a foul shot doesn’t help the athlete win the game. Moving past it and staying in the moment does. It’s a little like steering a car. The car tends to go where you want it to, where you’re focused on. If you drive, staring constantly at on coming traffic, you’ll slowly creep towards it; if you focus on where you need to go, you get there.

We want athletes to not be ashamed of errors, mistakes, etc. We want them to learn from them and move on.

The If-Then statement

Thu, 8 Jan 2009 16:18:28 -0500

The language we, as coaches, choose to employ can greatly affect affect the outcome. It can have additional benefits, not just in helping the athlete accomplish a particular goal, but also in giving the athlete a sense of control over the outcome, and resultantly, a sense of ownership and pride in the outcome. The If Then statement is a great example.

Rather than tell a team of athletes “spread out” “spread out” “spread out,” we’ll say, “if you guys spread out, it will be easier for you to pass to each other. Rather than say “throw the ball down the line,” we’ll say “if you throw the ball down the line it will be less likely to be intercepted.”

Using statements such as these, we can give the athlete a sense of the cause and effect, a sense of the why, and most importantly a sense of control over the outcome. When they succeed, it was by their choice, not because a coach was barking orders or telling them what to do. The athlete then can take much greater pride in the outcome. Conversely, when they fail, the athlete can have a sense of ownership and control over the error, and try to fix it, rather than feeling like he/she is being directed and ordered around. Again, errors are not a bad thing, and an athlete can gain much confidence by overcoming them.

By choosing our language carefully, we empower the athletes.

Positive Coaching

Wed, 10 Dec 2008 10:52:48 -0500

Stoddert recently partnered with the Positive Coaching Alliance, an organization dedicated to advancing and teaching and emphasizing youth and athlete development. Bob, Barry, Rich and I will be emphasizing and employing those techniques espoused by PCA on a constant basis. We teach and coach via positive reinforcement at all times.

Our goal is to keep the kids’ emotional tanks filled, to match their enthusiasm with our own. As coaches we will employ and teach the kids tools to use to help them not just be better soccer players, but also and more importantly to gain life lessons from the field.

Neither the Wolverines nor the the Badgers is a team where you’ll see coaches barking orders at the kids. Our primary job is to provide positive reinforcement to the kids. This isn’t a win at all costs endeavor. It’s a tool to give kids something far greater than a 7-2 record. We’re there to sub them in and out of the game, to give them high fives, to let them know how proud we are of them and encourage them to be proud of themselves, to teach them soccer skills, and help give them the tools to deal with good play, and errors, to make them confident in their abilities, to help them understand the importance of sportsmanship. ...In short, to give them things that go well beyond a soccer pitch.

Coaching Philosophy

Sun, 10 Feb 2008 10:21:37 -0500

I very much support the direction Stoddert takes with regard to youth sport/soccer, where fun, building a love of the game and skill development are the primary points of emphasis. With a love for the game and basic skills as a foundation, everything else will come more easily later on. I’ve been coaching for 15+ years; athletes of all ages and abilities from have fun kid to junior olympic, from able-bodied to disabled, and I have to say that Stoddert is doing a lot of things the right way.

The life-lessons that can be gained from soccer are what drive our teams and they will always trump the importance of our win v loss record, which frankly isn’t important at all. Our mission on the Wolverines and Badgers is to provide an environment where kids have fun, learn sportsmanship, gain confidence in their athletic abilities and learn what it means to be a part of a team

At this age it’s about fun and getting plenty of time with the foot on the ball. Soccer is a great sport and like many other sports there are wonderful life-long skills (like self-confidence, perseverance, and teamwork) which kids can learn from the game. Many of those lessons are harder to learn if they quit because the sport (whatever sport they end up doing) isn’t fundamentally fun for them. Additionally, the wrong emphasis / or just a few negative experiences can have the opposite effect. Kids learn that sports are no fun, too hard, and not worth the effort.

Ultimately each kid needs to find a sport he/she loves. I want the kids to believe that sports (whether it’s soccer or something else) are inherently fun, and frankly, better than playing video games. There is an athlete in some capacity in every single kid, and I believe that together we can bring that out in the kids through lots of positive reinforcement.

Winning, Losing and Fun

Sat, 9 Feb 2008 10:26:15 -0500

Why we don’t keep score
Lombardi wasn’t talking about youth athletics when he said that winning was the only thing. At the simplest level, the kids have far more to gain by having fun than they do in learning the lessons of winning and losing. For the most part the kids don’t really care if they win or lose; they care whether it was fun or not at the moment they were actually playing. Any time the kids ask what the score is, the standard answer is that we aren’t keeping track. Winning is a good thing; a winning attitude is better, and the later leads to the former.

The kids that first and foremost really enjoy or love the game in the end are the ones that are usually the most successful skill-wise and the most successful when it comes to dealing with “winning and losing.” Those same kids also try harder and quit less when faced with adversity or a better player or stronger team. The kids are out there because kicking a ball with their friends and chasing each other around is fun, not because they want to win 6-5 or because they want to play Division I soccer at Princeton.

As a sidenote, in the 15 + years I’ve been coaching (with few exceptions) the kids that were primarily driven by their competitive natures to win (or by parents who put their very competitive natures on their kids) ended up burning out. I’ve seen some very talented athletes fall by the wayside. I’ve also coached kids to elite levels. The kids that fundamentally loved what they were doing (often but not always) ended up competing at higher levels and in my opinion got more out of sport (in more ways than just being good at it) than those whose primary focus was winning or some arbitrarily determined level or meter of success. The kids whose perception of success is tied to working hard and enjoying what they are doing will be better off than those whose perception of success is how many games they won vs lost.

The three goal rule:
While we don’t tell the kids that we are keeping score, in actuality we do. Stoddert has a rule which states that if a team has taken a lead of more than three goals that team must take steps to keep the scoring imbalance in control. This may sound overly egalitarian/communistic, but it works very well and it’s to everyone’s advantage. By doing this we aren’t telling kids not be good, not to be successful or not to be leaders; we de-emphasize the importance of winning and losing and keeping score and try to keep the game fun for everyone. If they aren’t having fun because they’re taking a walloping, there won’t be an incentive or learned behavior to stay in the fight when things get tough. When a team is losing or being out-played they can learn those lessons with gentle taps (ie 5 to 2). They don’t need to learn it with a hammer (11 to 2), at least not for many years. Sometimes there’s a blowout and the kids don’t really pay attention. It’s just something we keep an eye on. In the U5-U6 age group, this won’t come into play much but next year it will.

The coaches work together to make this rule invisible and seamless to the kids, so all they see is an even-ish match where they can have fun playing with their friends. When implemented properly this rule will challenge the kids, not limit them. For example, if we are the obviously stronger team on a given day, we may tell some players who are having an easy time scoring, that they need to make a pass before shooting, or that they can only shoot with the weaker foot. This technique benefits everyone. Please remember that at this age, we are not playing against the other team; we are playing with them. We are all equal partners in giving our kids a fun, challenging, and rewarding experience on the soccer pitch.

Drills, tactics and skills:
We don’t do drills at this age. We use fun games like Raptors vs. Humans, Freeze Tag and Mr. Wolf to teach the kids basic ball handling skills. For those of you who had kids that went through or are going through CCBC, you are familiar with their philosophy of learning through play. We’re trying to do the same thing. You’ll see kids out there with varying levels of skills. The amount of skill a kid has now is not an indicator of how successful he or she will be with the sport so keep the encouragement up. The single best thing you can do to foster skill development in your youngster is keep a ball in the backyard or car trunk so he/she can play with it whenever the mood strikes. We don’t teach any tactics or strategy. Ultimately it will always come down to skills: footwork, ball skills, etc., whether they’re five, eight, or eighteen-years-old.

I hope that gives you an idea of what Stoddert is emphasizing and where I’m coming from. We’re all out here to give the kids the most fun and rewarding experience we can. If at anytime you believe that your child isn’t having fun or is bored, please let me know so that I can make an extra effort to increase the fun factor or challenge for him/her.

As always, anytime anyone has questions, please don’t hesitate to call, email (the best way to get a hold of me) or pull me aside on the field before or after the game or during halftime. If anyone has particularly fun games they play with a soccer ball at home, I’m always happy to try them.

As a final P.S. note here is a link to the YouTube video of a presentation on sport/hockey by the University of Minnesota hockey coach, Don Lucia
The presentation is presumably to other coaches or boosters/organizers of a hockey league. It’s a ten-minute video and worth watching. He makes some excellent points about coaches, parents, kids, winning and the real long-term values of youth sport in a kid’s future life. While it’s not earth-shattering, and is basically common sense, I do highly recommend watching it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFsF0Z9EKDg

Sideline Etiquette

Fri, 8 Feb 2008 10:28:43 -0500

If I had to highlight two of the most important elements of sideline etiquette (and Stoddert rules for parent sideline behavior), I’d say, first root for all players (including the other team) with lots and lots of positive commentary. When the other team’s parents hear you cheering for their kids even when they score, make a great play, or are noticeably trying hard, they’ll likely do the same and the end result is a really great experience for the kids and lots of smiles. The other team is our partner, not our opponent.

Second, we want to let the kids play the game the way they see fit without any commentary (from coaches and parents) on what they are doing strategically or technically. It’s definitely tough sometimes, but we need to resist the urge to shout directions or tell the kids what do. Most kids can’t usually register and process it well anyway. They’re typically making two decisions every second and yelling “defense,” “pass,” “shoot,” or “go to the ball,” doesn’t usually register with them. When it does, many kids perceive that they are doing something wrong, bad, not good enough or inadequate, not to mention that most kids are embarrassed when they hear their parents shouting directions to them in front of their friends. The kids are having fun even if they are going the wrong way or if they’ve stopped playing to talk with another player on the field. At the U6 Badger age, the kids are mostly going to clump together at the ball, and while that’s not ideal strategy long-term, it’s completely natural and totally fine. They will learn more by figuring it out for themselves and they’ll have more fun that way, too. If you played sports remember how you wanted to just play the game, not hear parents yelling directions from the sidelines.

Please do not yell or direct comments during play other than general positive accolades. It’s as simple as that. I know we can all get caught up in the moment or the game, so if I or another parent, or coach asks you to quell sideline commentary please respect it. It’s how we do things on the Wolverines and Badgers and how we do things in Stoddert. No one wants to see this league go to “quiet games” as many leagues have had to do where parents aren’t allowed to do anything more than quietly talk on the sidelines. It’s happened in many leagues, unfortunately.

The following is common sense, but I have to spell it out anyway because no team, parent, athlete, or coach is immune from problems or poor behavior. In the offhand event that something negative happens on the field please do not yell or lose self control. It is unavoidable that once or twice a season it will happen somewhere in the league of 300 some teams. I've seen it and it's no fun for anyone, and everyone looks back on it with regret. If you have any issues during the game please pull me to the side. I can't see everything that's happening at all times. If it's something that should be left till halftime or later for us to discuss, I'll let you know. Please remember under all circumstances, we set the example for our kids.

Additionally, please remember that at all times, the other team is not our opponent; they are our partner. We all have a vested interest in creating a positive experience for every kid out there. That said, we as parents root for and support all the kids out there.